Be Still and know that I am God
As I mentioned Saturday, I have been feeling physically better than I have in a long time. Emotionally....well that is a different story. I have been feeling like I am carrying the weight of others on me. I want to help. I want to fix things. I want to be whatever people need from me. Unfortunately, this is at the expensive of myself (and baby Nicholas).
I was such an emotional wreck that Chris called out of work today. He knew I was at my breaking point last night. Have you ever gotten that bad? It's awful.
Today was a refreshing day. First off, I slept until.....are you ready for this.....10:30!!!!! I guess I should put this a little in perspective. I haven't been sleeping well.....AT ALL. I am usually up, wide awake from anywhere between 2-4 hours, every night. I can't remember the last time I slept through I whole night (minus bathroom trips). Even before I got pregnant I didn't sleep well due to fibromyalgia. Last night was no different. I went to bed at 11 pm, woke up at 1 am and didn't get back to sleep until after 4:30. I was woken up by the phone at 6 am. I was going to stay up but Chris encouraged me to go back to bed (or should I say the comfy couch we have in our living room). I did, and actually got into a great sleep. At one point, I popped my eyes open long enough to see him walk by me to go downstairs to the family room with the milk, cereal and bowls.
When I finally woke up I was SHOCKED when I woke up and found it was 10:30 am!!! Part of me felt guilty...but you know what....I felt refreshed!!! What a great feeling. The day was spent with Chris taking care of the kids fully. I just chilled out. Chris even took all the kids to get his coffee at noon time and spoiled me with take-out from Friendly's. I was not allowed to take any phone calls (until an emergency one came in. He took the message but I did call my sister to let her know what was going).
I feel so blessed to have my husband. I called him my gatekeeper today, protecting my fragile emotional state. He was not going to let any outside influences get to me. He wanted me to focus on me today (boy is that tough). To know someone loves me that much to put my needs well above his is unbelievable.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
What a great example Chris was of this today. He showed the children how it is his job to protect his wife, love her unconditionally and put her needs above his own.